my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
