I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
