I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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