Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
