I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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