p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
