Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
