I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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