And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
How's work?
Spinning.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
