This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
