butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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