This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
