i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
