Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
