I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
