my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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