too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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