There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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