dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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