Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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