Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
