Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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