the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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