I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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