Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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