i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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