i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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