i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
