I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
