Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
