So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize