Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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