paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
