Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
