yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
