too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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