Plan B is the new Plan A
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
