I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize