I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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