Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm jealous of your bromance
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
So squirting runs in the family.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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