I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
