I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
