My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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