Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
