Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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