My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
