i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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