He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
