One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
