i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
