I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just invented taco cereal.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
