Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
