Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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