yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
