How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
