I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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