The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
