Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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