ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
