Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
