Me too!
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize