nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
