I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
