So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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