Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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