the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We were destined to go to rehab together
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
