just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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