is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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