a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
When are your genitals available?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
