Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
