mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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