Im at strip club and am horny
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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