remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
soo... how was my night?
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