As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize