last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
