are you still at the devil's house?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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