I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize