Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
