four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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