I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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