Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
