I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
