Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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